Who would've thought that Britney Spears could take a hint from Lindsay Lohan, who now admits that she "hit rock bottom" after her second DUI bust back in July. OK! Weekly. "Everything in my life came to a point where I had to make a decision," she tells OK! magazine just "hours" after getting out of rehab in Utah according to the mag, her third stint in the last year. She tells the mag that she's still worried about relapsing and would be "living in denial" if she weren't, but will continue to act – "I'm here to stay."
Lindsay Lohan left the Cirque Lodge facility in Utah this weekend and is spending some alone time with her dad. If that’s not creepy enough, she’s also plotting her diabolical return to the spotlight. E! Online’s The Awful Truth reports:
“She thinks it’s so funny that everybody’s worried about her,” revealed a Lohan bud to Desk Awful. “She says, ‘Oh, what a pitiful girl, they must all be saying,’ and then she breaks into hysterics,” added the somewhat nonplussed amiga, who included the following little verbal baby I simply adore ‘cause it’s just so very real-life Mean Girls:
“And she doesn’t like Britney taking away all the attention, either.”
A storm is brewin’, my friends. Beware as the fire-crotched lass and the gelatinous blonde prepare to wage war over an epic battlefield of cocaine, paparazzi and Cheesy Beefy Melts. Can Lindsay’s rampant substance abuse and promiscuity stand a chance against Britney’s piss-poor parenting and imploding career? Who shall be the victor? Also, it’s been a while since I read Revelations, but shouldn’t four horsemen and a seven-headed dragon show up soon? Wait, what? Britney ate the dragon and Lindsay gave the horsemen VD? Damn. This is going to be awesome!
Pamela Anderson's wedding to Rick Salomon was a truly classy and luxurious affair. Pammy wore a white jean skirt, called her groom "scum" and the cake was made out of cardboard. Would we expect anything less?
The NYDN reports that guests were served pigs in a blanket, macaroni and cheese and tuna and lobster tacos. Pigs in a blanket?! Sounds like my kind of spread.
Hey at least Pam covered up! She wore a used up bikini to her last wedding. She's moving on up! Maybe she'll wear a mini-dress to her next wedding, because there's totally going to be one.
Cardboard cakes remind me of kindergarten. In kindergarten we had this beat down, saliva stained cardboard Birthday cake. Whenever it was one of the brat's Birthdays they would pull out that nasty thing, put a fake candle on it and make us sing. Ghetto ass shit. I can't tell you how many times some moron tried to take a bite out of it.
Oh and has Pam filed for divorce yet?
Recently the new and improved Paris Hilton announced she’d be taking a humanitarian trip to Rwanda. Someone needs to tell her that Rwanda is in Africa – and not behind a curtain. Also you need to get in a plane and fly there - not drink 15 cans of sparkling wine and dance like a paraplegic who just got her limbs back. Good effort though. I can almost feel those refugees being helped. Almost.
Maybe Britney Spears won't take American idol up on their offer. Idol judge and guru Simon Cowell recently said that he thought Britney may have destroyed her career with her disastrous performance at the MTV Video Music Awards and speaking at the San Diego, California auditions for the next American Idol contest, Jackson added: "We are going to manage Britney, we're gonna take good care of her... Britney, if you're listening, we're here for you."
Or maybe not. According to a report from Star Magazine Britney is treating the offer like so many others that have tried to help the pop wreck get her life and career back on track. The weekly entertainment magazine has a report that claims that Britney Spears loves to make fun of other people – and when she heard the American Idol team wanted to help her out, she went on a rant, according to a source who overheard it all.
Star reports that she said, "What a joke! They help me? I invented what they do!" She thought their offer was such a put-down that she cowed never to work with any of them. The she ripped each one, saying Paula was a "has-been freak," Simon is a "creepy Eurotrash guy who's mean and dated" and Randy is a "lame, cookie-cutter producer."
She said they were all passé and thought their move was a stunt to get them press. She said she wished they'd "shut up and mind their own effin' business." I'm not really sure idol has sunk low enough to use Britney for publicity - yet.
What is next on Lindsay Lohan's list? She would be in a whole lot of trouble if California actually punished multiple DUI offenders with drug problems but as they don't she will have a photo op at a jail there soon where she will spend a few minutes putting on make up and trying to beat out Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie's mug shot. But where will her next photo be taken and will she wear clothes?
She would be a great Playboy bunny one of ex lovers believes and he may have the ability to make it happen. But don't look for LiLo stuck in between the pages of America's favorite men's magazine - look to the big screen.
OK! Magazine has this report: When OK! caught up with director slash producer Brett Ratner at the Hollywood Life Style Awards this weekend, the former man-friend of Lindsay Lohan — the pair dated briefly in 2006 — told us that he would definitely cast the recently rehabilitated star in his upcoming film about Playboy founder Hugh Hefner.
"She's very talented; she'd be great a as a Playboy bunny," the X-Men 3 director told OK!, adding, "if she stayed sober." I'm not absolutely certain but that might be a little dig at the freshly rehabbed starlet.
PETA wants Kevin Federline to take custody of Britney's dogs too. Say it with us, everyone, "Leave Britney alone!"
In a letter from PETA Prez Ingrid E. Newkirk, she writes to Fed-Ex: "For the sake of your children and the animals who are at risk while in Ms. Spears' custody, we hope that you will do the right and best thing for all involved and pursue a custody order for the animals so that your sons can continue to have the company of the animals they've grown to adore."
It is unclear whether Newkirk was referring only to canine species or other people surrounding Britney.
The scintillating latest Lindsay Lohan bomb "I Know Who Killed Me" made a whopping $3.4 Million this weekend checking in at #9. The movie cost $35 Million to make. Can she blame this one on "the black kid?" After Lindsay's wild ride that landed her in jail last week, one of the riders in LiLo's car claims she told the cops says it seemed as if Lindsay told officers, "I wasn't driving. The black kid was driving."
While Lohan was alleged by three men to have held them against their will as they went ripping down the Pacific Coast Highway in a life imitates art "bizarro world" Lohan plays a kidnapping victim who is tortured in her latest thriller.
Us Weekly has a nice warp on what the critics had to sit endure. The Associated Press writes: "It makes you wonder what Lohan was thinking when she said yes to this project...You want to know who killed her? She’s doing it to herself."
New York Daily News adds: "The truth is, no review could really do justice to the monumental trashiness of this mess; it really has to be seen to be believed. Although if Lohan is lucky, no one will bother."
The New York Post calls it"...sleazy, inept and worthless piece of torture porn...Is [Lohan] now playing the sort of exploitation role that usually goes to desperate beginners because of her apparent lack of self-esteem, or because better offers are drying up due to her hard-partying reputation?"
With Lohan’s drug, alcohol, and legal problems reeking havoc on her career, at least Lindsay has been consistent at the box office; consistently bad! Zing!
If you need more laughs as the day goes on, head over to Rotten Tomatoes for more scathing reviews.
At this point The "Alexis" Sex Tape sound like a better bet.
It's the end of an era! Britney and KFed's divorce will be finalized this morning Los Angeles. Lawyers for both have just entered a court room to have a judge sign off making their divorce official. Brit's lawyer will also make a motion to keep the details of the divorce including spousal support information a secret.
TMZ has learned that KFed is currently getting $15,000 a month for child support and $20,000 a month for spousal support which will end in November.
Child custody is said to be split 50/50. There were rumors that KFed was going to ask for full custody, but that doesn't seem likely now since he has signed off on this 50/50 agreement. TMZ has reason to believe that even though they agreed to a custody split, neither of them are happy with the arrangement and may go back into court to change it.
Tears! This isn't the end though. Britney's crazy train is just getting started and I'm sure we haven't heard the last from these two.
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